you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize