It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
