He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I still have a little drunk in my system
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize