Yo dont text me then not text me
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
