Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
