Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
no, he came in my armpit
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize