i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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