So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
