Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
