Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
