We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
