I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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