the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize