sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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