did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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