I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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