She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
