Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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