Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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