and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
