you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We have started to decorate penises.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
