I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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