Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
