Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Congratulations! We have a period
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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