Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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