whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
