so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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