Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm jealous of your bromance
kristin has been a bad kristin
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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