If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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