dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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