I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
