No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
