we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
