This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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