We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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