can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
