Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
