Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I died a long time ago.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
