His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
