Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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