Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
