when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
