What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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