Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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