If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
