I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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