She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
