Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize