ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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