she woke up with a sticky ear
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize