Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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