toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
