I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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