...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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