Screwed.edu
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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