someone owes me an orgasm
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
