It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
