just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
