I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
