She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
