3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
