he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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