Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm really busy with my period
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
