dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
