I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
