I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
