she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
