I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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