I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
