Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm going to jail i love you
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
