i just wanna soil my oats bro
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
