I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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