im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
