I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize