He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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