This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
