just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
