So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
that's an acceptable place to lick
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
