Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
