so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize